discomplete:

“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography

portablemiah:

Cute nicknames for your girlfriend or boyfriend

• N00b
• King Henry VIII
• Sad cow
• Potato skins
• 5 Gum
• United States army
• That one gay Teletubby

I don’t want to be skinny so guys will like me. I want to be skinny so I will like me.

chickensandwich:

pizzaforpresident:

i hate when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami

i’m telling grandpa salami that you were talking shit

ipoog:

giving someone a boner is the most satisfying simple pleasure life can offer

rabioheab:

fact: the orange stuff that comes out of volcanos is dorito dust

manchesterwhorchestra:

did i invite u to my bbq?

then why are u all up in my grill

chillaxemurderer:

sometimes im hungry and other times im asleep